Stalking
Ever been harassed, by someone you didn't want to date a month after the last time you told them not to bother you anymore? I have. In the last week, I received a card, a St. Patrick's day text message and seven text messages early this afternoon. All of them asking me to reciprocate, even if just to say 'no' to friendship I presume. I have never been in this position before, but I think the best course of action, as much as I'd like to respond, is to stay silent. But then I can't be sure if I'll hear from her again, or if next time I'll get a visit in person, demanding to know why I won't respond to being harassed.
The craziest thing about the messages is that I didn't respond, but she was carrying on this conversation all by herself!! The first three messages, I didn't even hear. I was in the shower and came out, spoke on the phone with my mother, then put the phone down and received a text message. I thought something was wrong with the phone, because I then realized I had two other messages unread. She continued to message me for about 45 minutes, ending in a plea to talk to her and not continue to be angry. I am not angry, just annoyed. I said I didn't want a relationship with her, I said it was 'done'. We shouldn't talk anymore. That was a month ago.
She seemed to think I was 'ending things' - even though there was nothing to terminate but communication. So, then what feeds the mentality that brings one to attempt contact a month later?! I have done nothing to lead her to believe that we would speak. I have been breathing easy, for a month and now this.
I thought she was gone. What do I do? She knows where I live. She has another friend in the building, so even if I instruct the doormen to be wary of women looking for me, she can get in under the auspices of visiting someone else.
She seemed to get the message, but this has happened before. She's not easily deterred. Should I message her and just say, 'I want you to leave me alone. Please stop with the cards and the messages.' I feel helpless not doing anything, but if I respond at all, it breaks the seal of silence and I'm sure I will be bombarded by messages from her. I'll see what happens in the next couple of days. Hopefully nothing. If she checked email on a regular basis, I could send her this link
The craziest thing about the messages is that I didn't respond, but she was carrying on this conversation all by herself!! The first three messages, I didn't even hear. I was in the shower and came out, spoke on the phone with my mother, then put the phone down and received a text message. I thought something was wrong with the phone, because I then realized I had two other messages unread. She continued to message me for about 45 minutes, ending in a plea to talk to her and not continue to be angry. I am not angry, just annoyed. I said I didn't want a relationship with her, I said it was 'done'. We shouldn't talk anymore. That was a month ago.
She seemed to think I was 'ending things' - even though there was nothing to terminate but communication. So, then what feeds the mentality that brings one to attempt contact a month later?! I have done nothing to lead her to believe that we would speak. I have been breathing easy, for a month and now this.
I thought she was gone. What do I do? She knows where I live. She has another friend in the building, so even if I instruct the doormen to be wary of women looking for me, she can get in under the auspices of visiting someone else.
She seemed to get the message, but this has happened before. She's not easily deterred. Should I message her and just say, 'I want you to leave me alone. Please stop with the cards and the messages.' I feel helpless not doing anything, but if I respond at all, it breaks the seal of silence and I'm sure I will be bombarded by messages from her. I'll see what happens in the next couple of days. Hopefully nothing. If she checked email on a regular basis, I could send her this link
posted by Carlos at
3/20/2005 08:12:00 PM
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